Tips, Tricks and Ideas
Flashbacks
Flashbacks by Cc
Personally, what has worked the best is to counteract them with a strong sensation in the sense that the flashback is invading...
If I feel on my skin, I use ice or I take a hot bath.
If it's a taste, I use strong peppermint candy or I brush my teeth.
If it's a smell, there is nothing like vicks vaporub!
Visual is tougher because usually it happens at night for me... but opening the light is usually a must.
And if it's auditory (rare for me), I tend to listen to Metallica... very loud!
Shield against visual memories/ flashbacks by LWW
There is a visualization that I use when this happens. I visualize a Native shield (wonder why) appearing before me. I concentrate on that shield, it's shape, it's feel, and I 'move' it so that it is between me and the memories. Now, I'm not saying it is the easiest thing to do, especially at first, but the more I've used it, the quicker I've been able to access it and stop the visual memories/flashbacks.
You can actually visualize a STOP sign, focus on the bright red, on the white of the word STOP. Mentally trace it's shape over and over again, back it bigger, smaller, whatever you need to do.
How to get rid of (visual) flashbacks by S
The visuals can be like walking in a waking nightmare. I used to get them on the train in the middle of the night coming home from work. I was afraid I would be attacked on the train and they would just manifest.
So I inadvertently became obsessed with a TV show and it helps me nearly all the time these days with visual flashes. I watch a lot of Xena when I have these "flashbacks." It's good to keep it on while say online. I've made some long form videos of clips from shows and movies for a production I'm involved with. But I just noticed I've been watching it for 3 days in row. A tape of "the good parts" (whales, shows I like, videos, Ellen dancing, Madonna, musicals).
It's like subconscious food imagery. Instead of the crap that's on between Xena and Buffy. The good stuff. No politics, just art and chicks kickin' butt. Samurai Jack is the coolest show of all. When Jack is filled with anger, he visualizes a waterfall or a fish or a yin yang...then gathers his center and enters the fray. It is 15 minutes long, his obstacles are formidable and I've learned from that!
Then when I'm out on the street, a bit drunk and feeling unsafe or vulnerable...I breathe a few times till the air comes in slow and clear and THEN (you can laff, I am) I am the Warrior Princess!! And nobody f***s with me. My vibe changes totally. It's a little bit um, different from your problem, but since that's what I did to replace the scary images of getting attacked, I thought I might help. I mention it because that is when I had the most vivid mental image/memeories. Driving or crossing the street especially I would have a dissociative shift and become completely disoriented, often getting lost, sometimes for hours.
Freeze it! by Ji
What helped me last night when there were still after-images of a memory coming up time and again was to just stop the "movie" where it was and transforming it to a photo. Once I had freeze-framed it like that and it was on paper, I could just put the photo away. I did that every time the memory wanted to start again, and it worked pretty well.
Insomnia
About sleeping problems by S
As for falling asleep, I still have problems with that. Sometimes I still stay up all night with fear knotted in my tummy. Not sure why. Cuddling up to the old lady always helps (if I can relax and handle it). Just remember the natural sleep cycle opens up an opportunity to fall asleep every 15 minutes. So if you can't fall asleep, reading a magazine or catalogue (short articles), short stories, has been an old habit of mine. Something dry like a birding book is good too. Or pictures of gardens or Samurai Jack. Or of course watching Xena...having that be the last thing you see before you go to sleep is very very nice.
I think that the mind's mental library has lots of images and I find it helpful to give my brain alternative images to go to when I'm feeling stress or post trauma stress. Otherwise my brain, goes to the easiest images it can and sometimes those can be crippling.
( I almost forgot to add my night-time help hint. Somone gave me a kaleidescope the other day...I keep it at my bedside. And if it's late and I'm still up, a tea candle and the kaleidescope doesn't make any noise!)
Self Injury
Miracle Ice by Cc
One of my best tricks for grounding when I am extremely triggered (and when I usually think of self harm the most as a way of grounding) is to use ice. I take a cube of ice and pass it lightly on my arms and legs and trust me, it's pretty drastic and brings me back at least to a place where I can consciently take over and ground for real. It hurts enough to bring me back without causing harm to me.
Ice also has helped me avoid using drugs in the past... I would freeze my car keys in a glass of water in the freezer... the time it takes to unfreeze them was usually long enough for me to come to my senses and remember that I didn't want to do this. It's helped me and I've been clean 10 years now.
Ice by Nsx
There are a couple of things that I have picked up in my travels. I've noticed that there are a lot of us who struggle with SI from time to time. When those thoughts and urges start to creep in, instead of going through with it...hold ice cubes. The cold gives a painful sensation, but it is a LOT safer. Another thing to try is to keep a a photo box of things that are comforting and helpful. Pictures, affirmations, phone numbers, toys and my favorite poetry, symbols of progress, future goals, etc... It can be a reminder that there are reasons why we are working through all of this pain.
Safety Glue by S
I'm a painter and watching Bob Ross's technique class tends to cheer me up. The white guy with the afro, from the late 70's, who did the 'everyone can do it, it's easy' painting show... The hippie/stoner guy. His technique is so easy to follow, but it's his perspective I like best. "Happy little trees..." Good ole Bob Ross... or taking a yoga class on TV or super especially when I feel like hurting myself (SI) putting wet glue or paint on my hands, waiting till it dries and then peeling it off. Peeling the glue gives me the satisfaction and tactal sensation of picking at my nails or chewing off my cuticles, or picking at scabs, er um... or worser things. Putting the glue on is mesmerizing, watching it dry, swirling it around the little paths on my palm...
I also find doing two or three layers poses a challenge: taking the glue off in one solid piece.
SI as a grounding technique by Cc
I strongly believe that for a lot of us, SI can become a way to ground ourselves in reality. When memories of the abuse become too pervasive or too much to bear, a lot of us use SI in order to make "the present feel stronger" and thus be able to "focus" on it to stop the flashback. Grounding is an excellent idea to get rid of flashbacks and the likes... but you have to know that there are other, as effective and less damaging, ways to do that.
Here are alternative ways to use strong physical sensations to ground but that are not harmful, in a long term, to your body :
- Hold a cube of ice till it is completely dissolves
- Take a cold bath or cold shower
- Rub your feet on a floor
- Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root.
- Rub vicks under your nose.
- Rub those "muscles freeze" creams on your arms and legs
Also you might want to try the 15 minutes rule. If you want to self injure, give yourself a 15 minutes waiting time, and tell yourself that if in 15 minutes you still want to, you can. Then after try to do another 15 minutes.
Visual Reminder by k
For some people this might not be a good idea, but for me it was very helpful. Use it if fits:
I found a picture of me from when I was nine that I really like, and I put it up on my wall. I don't really think of it as a picture of me...but as a visual reminder of a little girl that needs me to take care of her. Now, it serves as a deterrent if I am doing something to hurt myself...starving, bingeing, SI, things like that. I look at the picture and I think... "that little girl doesn't deserve this, she wouldn't have wanted it to be this way, I owe it to her to take care of this body". And even though there are things I wouldn't care enough to do for myself, I do care enough to do them for her.
Pets and loved ones by mg
I recently found somthing that really helps me to stay grounded... a pet. I got a kitten a few months ago and when I feel like I want to hurt myself or do somthing very destructive, I just get on the bed with my little kitty and hold her and pet her. She is very...what's the word? demanding when she wants some loving from mommy! So she really helps me!! My son...when he is here helps too. He is also demanding when he wants attention!
an RH-written Self Injury Article
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